Did you ever feel like you wanted to do something completely different to what you actually ended up doing? With all the right intentions and the will in the world, you could not stop the actions you took and were helpless to observe yourself destroy the things you treasure? Welcome to the dark side. There is a part of you that you that you should meet.
We can become different people depending on the friends we are with at the time. So different sometimes that it would be hard to recognise yourself in the mirror. This is simply because there are many sides to us. We have many personalities. Each of our friends has met a different side of us. It is no wonder that if you invited them all to a party, they might not have anything to talk about apart from you.
A simple example will help. There are three primary colours: red, blue and yellow. All other colours come from varying degrees of combination of these primary colours. For example, red and yellow make orange. Percentages of the primary colours in the mix will determine the resulting colour. Just like that, you have some basic human emotions and feelings in you. Love is one of them. But so is anger! And there are many more. A combination of the varying degree of these emotions influence our experiences and create the different sides to us that people meet. It is therefore possible to meet the same person in two different settings where they act and behave completely differently.
Love, hate, compassion, anger, patience, tolerance, greed, etc are all inherent parts of our personality. They co-exist to bring balance to your life. Survival for example is our prime instinct and but comes with a degree of selfishness about it. Just like that, you need an element of ego to maintain self-respect. But increase the level of ego and the self respect turns to pride and boasting. Increase it still further and you become a conceited and selfish individual. Similarly, anger is necessary to stand up to injustices in life. But anger also has the power to destroy your own life. Combine it with alcoholism in a wife beater and watch it rip that family apart.
No doubt there is a part of you that is the dominant personality and defines your general behaviour. But other parts of you are not sleeping. Given the opportunity, they will try and take control of your life and change its course.
It is foolish to think you can beat them and get rid of them. You cannot get rid of the ego because it is the force behind you maintaining your self respect. You cannot get rid of the anger because it is the power you will need to fight injustice. You should not get rid of them. In fact, it is good that they are there. They bring balance to your life. But what you want is to bring them under control and to prevent their surprise attacks on you. When you least expect it, they creep up on you and make you loose control. You become someone else. Someone you would despise when you were sober. All because the surprise caught you off guard and you become a slave to the emotion before you knew it. You were powerless and could only watch as the emotions got the better of you and wreaked havoc.
The only way to prevent such a scenario is if you retain control and not let your emotions control you. The steps in defeating a powerful enemy are acknowledging it, not underestimating it’s strength and getting to know it. The strengths and the weaknesses.
Get to know yourself. Know the anger, the greed, the selfishness, the power hungry animal and the vindictive person you are capable of being. You might have met this person before but just not realised it. Acknowledge it and become conscious of it. Know that it is there, it is powerful and is waiting for an opportunity. Become friends with him so you understand him. This way when he tries to creep up on you, instead of getting surprised you welcome him. Ask him to take a seat and wait until the storm is over. And if it needs to speak then to keep the voice down.
Once you get to know him, keep him in your vision. Don’t loose sight of him. For he might go and learn new tricks and then turn up and surprise you anyway. Or you might become lazy and complacent and forget the power it yields. Keep track of him.